


No More Running

by ilovemesomekillianjones



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, F/M, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 03:59:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13138614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovemesomekillianjones/pseuds/ilovemesomekillianjones
Summary: What happens when Emma doesn't seize her opportunity to tell Killian exactly how she feels about him? Based on the prompt, “you’re in the hospital for the holidays so i came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room i love you merry christmas” - from this post: http://nadiahilker.tumblr.com/post/133627477715/im-always-a-slut-for-a-christmas-au-i-know-we





	No More Running

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vaish - My 2017 CS Secret Santa Giftee](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Vaish+-+My+2017+CS+Secret+Santa+Giftee).



> Beta’d by the ever lovely @like-waves-on-the-beach Thanks for the time you gave me, on Christmas Eve no less, to beta for me.

 

“Merry Christmas, Swan! What’s up?” Killian answered his phone with a silly smile; the same silly smile that always came across his face when his best friend was on his mind. 

 

“Still ever the jolly little elf, aren’t ya,” Emma deadpanned. 

 

“Nothing little about me, Swan, but yes, I am quite jolly.”

 

“Alright, alright, enough of that. I’ll be off around five, are we still on for tonight?” 

 

If possible, his smile grew wider at the hopeful tone in her voice. “Of course, what do you have in mind?”

 

“You could come over to my place, we could get chinese and watch a movie?”

 

“It’s Christmas Eve, eve, Swan-”

 

“That’s not even a thing, Killian.”

 

Killian could practically hear the eye roll through the phone. “It is so, and there is much to do on this Christmas Eve, eve; it’s a Saturday evening. The town Christmas parade is tonight, the Irish Rose is having an all night Christmas party, drinks are half price. The Nightmare Before Christmas is playing at the cinema-”

 

“What are you, the local entertainment section of the paper? I’m so burnt out after this week, I really want to keep it lowkey.”

 

“Well if you insist on staying in, it’s going to be at my place. You don’t even decorate, Scrooge.”

 

“I am not a scrooge! I just don’t like- I mean I don’t have time to- ugh, whatever. Not everyone likes it when Christmas throws up all over their house.”

 

“You’re right, not everyone enjoys it, you and Scrooge for example,” he laughed into the phone.

 

“Your place it is,” she acquiesced, knowing she really was a bit of a scrooge. But it wasn’t a totally unfounded reason for her lack of Christmas spirit. “I’ll pick up food on the way, pick your pleasure.”

 

“Well if it’s pleasure we’re talking about, I’ve a wholly different menu than anything you can pick up from restaurant, love,” he flirted.

 

“Oh my god, Killian. You are so shameless,” she chastised, silently praising the fact that blushing couldn’t be seen through the phone. 

 

“You love it,” he taunted her. “Are you blushing yet?”

 

“What do you want for dinner,” Emma dodged his question.

 

“I’ll cook,” he answered, “see you tonight, Swan.”

 

“See ya,” she replied before disconnecting.

 

♥E&K♥

 

Tonight was the night, he was going to do it. His heart was suddenly beating a million miles a minute, and he was a little dizzy at just the thought of telling her.  _ Bloody coward _ , he thought while scowling at himself in the mirror. He knew how he felt, he knew what he wanted, he knew what he needed to say.  _ Just tell her you love her, you git, how hard could it be?  _ he heard Liam’s voice in his head.  _ Easier said than done _ , he challenged his mind’s conjuring of his deceased brother. 

 

Running the towel over his freshly washed hair one last time, he hung up the towel then slipped a clean black v neck over his head. 

 

When it came right down to it, he wasn’t afraid to just tell her. That would be the easy part. The hard part would be her reaction. Emma Swan, love of his life, and his best friend. Deer would have been a more accurate depiction than swan. Sure she was beautiful and graceful, like a swan, but damn if she wasn’t the most skittish woman he’d ever met in his life. The moment she felt trapped by feelings, she was off and running. He understood that for Emma, running was easiest, her whole life had been hard, and so he didn’t blame her for taking the easy way out when she could. He just hoped against hope that tonight would be the one time she might not run.

 

Killian was pulled from his ruminations when his doorbell rang.  _ Deep breath _ , he told himself as he went to answer the door.

 

_ Deep breath _ , Emma told herself. She didn’t want to ruin a perfect Saturday evening by being uptight and stressed out. After the rough week she’d had, she was ready to hang with her best friend, and leave the stress behind. Exhaling, Emma pulled off her jacket, and beanie, then knocked on the door. 

 

_ Holy hot hell _ , were the words that came to mind when Killian opened his door.  _ Goddamn, he looks good _ . 

 

“See something you like?” he smirked.

 

Emma rolled her eyes, “Who’re you trying to impress?”

 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Killian mock bowed, extending his arm out to welcome her into his home.

 

“You would,” she scoffed, breezing past him in his too-tight black shirt and soft gray sweats.  _ Good lord he smells heavenly, too _ . Emma slipped her boots off, dropped her jacket and beanie, then plopped down on his couch and watched as he went to go grab them a couple of drinks. 

 

Why did her best friend have to be the best looking man on the face of planet Earth? Why did her best friend have to look like the perfect solution to a stressful week? If he was half as good as he boasted to be when teasing her, he could fuck away all her troubles, she just knew it.  _ The only way he’d look better is if he wasn’t dressed at all, _ she mused, biting down on her lip.  _ Why did she have to be in love with her best friend?  _

 

That last reflection jarred her out of her pleasurable thoughts. She thought she’d locked that shit up a long time ago. There was no way she could go down that road with Killian Jones. He was one of the few good thing she had going on in her life. She had an affinity for screwing up a good thing, if anyone knew that, it was her. 

 

“I would pay a fair amount of money to know what is going on in that head of yours, Swan.”

 

Emma startled a little as he sat down right next to her. She hadn’t realized just how deeply she had fallen into her mind. “Just thinking about the shitty week I’ve had,” she lied. 

 

“Huh, I’d have guessed you were thinking about how good my arse looked as I was bent over the fridge fetching us drinks.”

 

“Shut up!” Emma laughed backhanding his bicep.  _ So solid _ , she thought.

 

“Why don’t you tell me about it,” he suggested, throwing his arm across the couch behind her head. 

 

How did just the presence of one woman make his heart feel so combustible. She breezed past him through the open door smelling of sunflowers and honey. She wore nothing more than a thin cream colored sweater and black leggings, but she was a vision to him nonetheless. As he brought their sodas over to the couch, he took a moment to admire her as she stared off, deep in thought.  _ Gods, she’s gorgeous _ . 

 

Taking a seat next to her he questioned what was on her mind. He let the lie roll off her tongue and off his back. He knew his Swan held her cards close to her chest. No matter what she was thinking, he knew if she really needed to confide in him she would. 

 

“Tell you about what?” she asked.

 

“Your shitty week, darling.”

 

“It’s not really all that interesting. How about we just watch a movie instead.”

 

Killian knew a diversion tactic when he heard one, so he leaned forward to grab the remote. “Alright then, what are you in the mood for? Comedy, drama, horror, a little erotica,” he suggested, waggling his eyebrows.

 

Emma laughed out loud. “You are  _ such _ a goofball.” 

 

“Am not! I am a dashing rapscallion, and I’ve a reputation to uphold. That’s slander, Swan.”

 

Emma giggled at his antics, he always knew exactly how to put her in a better mood. 

 

“You choose, I’ll get dinner.” 

 

As soon as he was up Emma missed him, the smell of his body wash, his arm surrounding her without touching her, his whole presence.  She craved that, more so tonight than usual. Maybe it was the impending holiday. The Christmas season was always a bit difficult for Emma. She had grown up in a place where Christmas was a tradition, a hugely celebrated holiday, yet she’d never had a family to celebrate with. She enjoyed the decorations and the sentiments, but she could never bring herself to be quite merry enough to decorate her own apartment. 

 

That was why they’d decided to hang at Killian’s house tonight. He loved the holiday season, loved the festive mood, had a tree, and lights outside, a snowman apocalypse had taken over most surfaces of his home, and he even had a stocking just for Emma. She looked around at the winter wonderland, wondering just how much more opposite they could be. 

 

“Have you decided what to watch, yet? Or are you content to hide away in your head this evening?” He set down two plates of chicken and broccoli alfredo before reclaiming his seat next to her. 

 

“Horror,” she decided. “I think a good bloody, gory, horror movie will fit this holiday season just right.” And if she really only wanted to watch a horror movie as an excuse to cuddle up next to him, well, sue her, she was only a red blooded woman. They proceeded to eat and scroll through hundreds of horror flicks before finally settling on one.

 

“That was delicious!” Emma exclaimed. 

 

“I know what you’re thinking, devilishly handsome and he can cook,” Killian joked, taking her plate.

 

“How’d you know?” Emma over-exaggerated as he took the dishes to the kitchen. She started the movie when he sat down beside her again. 

 

A shrill scream cut through the silence, and Emma practically jumped into his lap. Killian wrapped his arm around her, horror had been the perfect choice of genre on her part. He treasured getting to hold her close like this, enjoyed the way her hair tickled his nose when he leaned his cheek atop her head.  “You alright there, Swan?”

 

She nodded her head, but then buried her face in his chest, and threw her arm around his waist as yet another unsuspecting victim was attacked on-screen.  

 

Killian chuckled at the sharp contrast of her actions to her words. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” 

 

Emma yanked at a patch of his chest hair that peeked through the v of his t-shirt. “Hey, the only one who saves me is me.”

 

“Ooh, tough lass,” he teased when she jumped once more. Absentmindedly his fingers played with a lock of her soft hair, twirling it around his fingers. 

 

They watched the remainder of the movie in silence, holding on to each other, secretly reveling in the comfort it brought. “Want to watch another one,” Killian asked her when the movie credits started rolling. He was loathe to let her go just yet. 

 

Emma sat up and looked at him, his gorgeous blue eyes looked so hopeful. She didn’t want to go just yet, didn’t want to leave the comfort bubble they had created this evening. But before she could just nod yes to his question, instinct took over and she leaned in to kiss him. She wanted to taste that hope in his expression. His lips were soft against hers, and she sighed in contentment at just the contact. Leaning into his body, Emma opened her mouth just enough to allow her tongue to lick a path across his bottom lip.

 

“Emma,” Killian moaned against her lips.

 

Deciding to be bold, Emma easily straddled his lap, then wrapped both arms around his neck and connected their mouths once more. He opened to her when she licked his lips this time. Emma tried to cut off the choked whimper as their tongues met for the first time. It was no use though, she couldn’t really control the noises that escaped her, or the way her body pushed against his with need. 

 

Killian’s mind was spinning. It was a Christmas miracle, Emma Swan in his arms, plundering him. He rhythmically slid his tongue against hers and tried to control his ardor as she rubbed against him in a matching rhythm. The little noises she made and the sounds of their kiss only served to arouse him further, making it painfully obvious in his sweatpants just how aroused he was. He couldn’t bring himself to feel embarrassed given that Emma was grinding herself against his hard-on every bit like the teenagers they were acting like.  He ran his hands up and then down the contour of her back until he reached her ass. He squeezed her cheeks and urged her on in her ride. 

 

_ So you opted for a quick lay then, brother? _ Killian heard his brother’s warning in his head. That was not at all what Killian was doing, but would that be what this became? Would this mean as much to Emma as it would to him? 

 

“Hold on, Swan.” As much as he detested bringing their enjoyable activities to a halt, he detested the thought of this being a one time thing even more. 

 

“Why,” Emma whined as she literally grinded to a halt. 

 

“I don’t want this-”

 

“You don’t want this…” Emma trailed off, jumping from Killian’s lap. She immediately stood up and folded her arms across her middle, a move he recognized as her subconscious trying to protect herself.

 

“Let me finish, love. As you can see,” Killian gestured to his raging erection, which he adjusted slightly, “I clearly want this.”

 

Emma blushed a little at his uninhibited statement. “Then why’d you…” 

 

“What I was going to say is, I don’t want this to be a one time thing, Emma.”

 

Her eyes widened at his use of her given name. Prior to him moaning it into her ear a moment ago, he only ever used it if something serious was happening.  _ Serious.  _ Emma’s hearing was suddenly tinny, there was a faint ringing in her ears, and the room seemed to be getting a little smaller. She tried to take a deep breath, but felt as though she couldn’t inhale deeply enough.  _ Wasn’t this what she wanted? _ She was too confused to form the thoughts of what she actually wanted.  _ Not ready, _ were the only words that came. Regardless of what she wanted, Emma wasn’t ready.  _ When then? _ she argued with herself. _ You’ll just ruin it, _ her dark side told her.  _ I can’t lose him, too _ , she panicked.

 

Killian watched as emotion after emotion played in her eyes. First a bit of shock, then confusion, he could swear he saw want, and maybe even belief for just a second, but ultimately fear won out. He felt his hope turn to anguish. He wasn’t going down without a fight though. “Look Swan, I know you want to run. But I want you to have the facts before you leave.”

 

She gave a miniscule nod of her head, tears welling in her eyes. She might not know what he was going to say, but she knew what she needed to do. 

 

“I love you, Emma Swan.” Killian stood up off the couch and stepped toward her. He took both her hands in his and continued, “For years now, I have loved you, and I am in this for the long haul. I know you want to run right now, and I won’t stop you, but I will ask you to stay. Please Emma, stay?”

 

Emma listened to Killian, and as much as she wanted to stay, while every fiber of her being was telling her that she could, her traitorous mind was telling her to run. Screaming at her that she would ruin it, he would abandon her too. “I- I can’t,” she whispered on a broken sob. She removed her hands from his and quickly walked toward the door.

 

“Emma,” he called after her.

 

Grabbing her jacket and beanie from the floor, she turned and spared him one last glance before opening the front door and running to her car.

 

♥E&K♥

 

As Killian laid in bed that night, a single concept swam around in his mind.  _ Longing _ . She had looked at him  _ longingly,  _ right before she ran. She did want him, she did want them. He knew it in his heart. It was just going to take some convincing of the part of her that liked to embrace the worst, see the worst, and keep out any happiness from Emma’s life. He fell into a semi-comforting sleep as his plan came into focus. He would go to her, he would convince her. Perhaps he should have tried harder tonight, but giving her the night wouldn’t hurt. He would go to her tomorrow, first thing in the morning. 

 

A few short blocks away Emma lay in her bed, mind jumbled with thoughts. The most prevalent among them was,  _ what the hell is wrong with you? _ Why had she panicked? She loved him, always had, and he had laid his heart out there to tell her words she never thought she’d hear Killian Jones tell her, and she had done what she always did.  _ She ruined it _ . She couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning as the look of sadness, hurt, and even disappointment that had painted his face riddled her weary mind. Emma only began to settle down and relax once she decided she knew what she had to do. She would go to him. First thing in the morning she would go to his place, she would apologize and tell him that she felt the same. All his stupid snowmen would bear witness as she threw herself at his mercy. 

 

♥E&K♥

 

Killian Jones had always been an early riser and this morning was no different. He went through his morning routine, he whistled Silver Bells as he waited for the second cup of coffee to finish brewing. He would take two travel mugs of coffee, go to the donut shop to grab Emma a bear claw, and then he would go and woo the woman he loved.  He stepped out into a fresh layer of snow, perhaps they would have a white Christmas after all. He thanked his lucky stars that the driveway wasn’t too bad off, he didn’t have time for that mess this morning. He got into his car still whistling Christmas tunes as he backed out of his driveway. 

 

Emma had always been a late riser and this morning was no different. She stretched lazily before rolling out of bed to get ready for the first day of the rest of her life. As she went through her morning routine she prayed that Killian would have coffee ready when she got there. She couldn’t possible imbibe in any liquid courage this early in the day, but she at least needed her caffeine fix. 

 

Emma’s heart leapt into her throat as she turned onto Killian’s street. There were emergency vehicles in the vicinity of Killian’s home, a fire truck and two police units.  _ At least there’s no ambulance, _ she thought with relief. She pulled off to the side of the road, not wanting to impede any investigation. She would just walk the rest of the way to Killian’s. 

 

Emma was almost to the fire truck when an officer started to jog toward her. “Sorry, ma’am, we can’t permit you any further than this,” he called out on approach.

 

“Oh, I’m not being nosey, I’m just trying to get to my friend’s house.”

 

“Emma?”

 

“Oh, hey David. I’m just trying to get to Killian’s. Come on, you can let your wife’s sister slip around can’t you. I won’t tell if you don’t,” she laughed.  

 

“Emma, maybe you should come with me.”

 

Emma immediately went on high alert at David’s grave tone. “What’s going on?”

 

“There’s been an accident-”

 

“What kind of accident,” Emma asked. When David didn’t respond she took off running. “No, no, no, no, Killian!” she yelled as she rounded the fire truck. Killian’s car was crushed, the entire driver’s side was smashed in, and all the windows were shattered. Glass littered the ground around them. “Where is he? Where’s Killian? David, where is he?” she cried as she took in the destruction. 

 

“He’s gone, lady,” a short man in an EMT uniform hollered callously. 

 

“He’s gone?” Emma mumbled to no one in particular as she dropped to her knees. She didn’t feel the glass cutting into her when her knees hit the ground, she didn’t feel anything but a vice like grip on her heart as a sob wracked her body. 

 

She didn’t know how long she’d been there as time felt suspended. She could see around her, but nothing registered, no sound, no feeling. Suddenly Emma felt arms around her middle and immediately fought them off. “Get off of me,” she yelled. “I’m fine!” Emma wiped at the tears that had spilled, while inhaling as deeply as she could.  _ Control _ , she told herself. Emma turned to David, “Sorry, I’m okay,” she gritted out as calmly as possible. “David, just tell me where Killian is, okay? I really need to get to him.”

 

“I don’t think you should be driving right now, let me take you to him.”

 

Emma hung her head, nodding silently. The tears fell straight down to the ground, silent and continuous as she tried to come to terms with losing her best friend. 

 

David looked over at Emma in the passenger seat, he’d never seen Emma this broken. According to his Mary Margaret, she’d been through some pretty rough times before landing in the Blanchard home, and eventually being adopted. Not knowing what to say, he reached over and held her hand. “He’s going to be okay,” he said with as much confidence as he could muster.

 

Emma’s head shot up and she looked at him like he was crazy. 

 

“What? It doesn’t hurt to hope at a time like this,” he reasoned.

 

“He’s dead! What the hell do you mean he’s going to fucking be okay?” she screamed at him, unleashing the anger she felt at the world’s perverse pleasure in her suffering. 

 

It was David’s turn to look stupefied. “What are you talking about? Killian’s in the hospital, he’s not dead.”

 

“What!” Emma breathed out, her whole body was shaking with adrenaline. “Get me to him. Now!” she demanded turning on David’s police siren. 

 

David had barely put the car in park when Emma hopped out and sprinted into the emergency room. Arriving at the counter she asked the woman behind the counter where she could find Killian. 

 

“I’m sorry ma’am, are you family?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“What’s your name and relationship to the patient?”

 

“I’m Emma Swan, and I’m… he’s all I’ve got,” she pleaded.

 

The nurse looked up at her and smiled kindly before looking down at the paperwork again. “I’m sorry ma’am if you’re not family- oh wait, he has you listed as next of kin.” 

 

Emma let out a half laugh half sob at that news, and brought her closed fist up to her mouth as she tried not to lose it again. “Please, can I see him.”

 

“He’s in bed six.” The nurse pushed the release button for the door and Emma immediately barreled through.

 

Locating the sixth bay, Emma peeked around the curtain to make sure she was in the right place. “Killian,” she sobbed, her tears once again falling as she took in his battered state.  The left side of his face was bruised, bloody, and swollen, and the entirety of his left forearm and hand were wrapped. She pulled up the chair that was in the corner of the small curtained off room and snatched his right hand into both of hers. 

 

A doctor entered the room at that moment, “Good afternoon, I’m Doctor Anna Winters, I will be overseeing Killian’s treatment. I’d like to go over the next steps with you.” She continued when Emma nodded her head. “Killian was in an accident this morning, he was found unconscious by a neighbor who heard the crash. He has deep lacerations on his forehead, his left forearm, and wrist. Head wounds bleed rather profusely. Even with his lack of consciousness, we gave him a local anesthetic for the sutures just to be sure he couldn’t feel anything. The laceration was deep, but scarring should be at a minimum. Now we just need to run some tests to check for damage we can’t see. Since we need to get a look at the leg that was pinned, as well as possible swelling of the brain and any potential internal bleeding, we’ll be sending him for a full body CT scan. Do you have any questions for me?”

 

Notwithstanding how the words swirled around Emma’s head just as quickly as the spunky doctor had said them, she knew she had one pressing question. “Will he be okay?”

 

The doctor chuckled lightly despite the grim situation. “I can’t make you any guarantees, but my medical opinion is that Killian will make a full recovery. Considering he was broadsided by a car doing around 30 miles per hour, according to the preliminary police report, he is in pretty good condition.”

 

“How soon until he wakes up?”

 

“That’s up to Killian’s body and mind. Sometimes our body’s natural defense mechanism is to function at a lower state of alertness. Since he has been in and out of consciousness, he is not in a coma. He was asking for you earlier, assuming you’re Emma?”

 

She looked down at his still form,then back up at the doctor. “May I have just a minute before you take him?”

 

The doctor nodded, “Someone from my team will be in to collect him momentarily.”

 

Emma squeezed Killian’s hand between hers, “Killian,” she whispered. “I need you to… I just need you.” She wept as the adrenaline began to wear off, and the anguish ran through her “I’m sorry,” Emma sobbed, “I’m sorry I didn’t stay when you asked. I promise, if you wake up, I will stay forever. I’ll never run from you… from us again. I love you, Killian.” She brushed his hair back from his forehead and kissed it gently. 

 

“Sorry ma’am, we need to take him now,” someone said.

 

“I’ll be right here waiting for you when you’re done,” Emma whispered, then she gave Killian’s hand one more squeeze before she let the medical team take him away. Folding her arms across her middle she sat staring at the place his bed had been. 

 

“You know, this won’t be where he comes back to,” a staff member told her as they began to clean up the room, readying it for the next patient. 

 

“Where will he go?” 

 

“Most likely to recovery up on the third floor.”

 

“Okay,” Emma responded, “do you know how long it will be?”

 

“Ask for Nurse French when you get up there. She’s a sucker for love, and will most likely tell you what room he is going to be in for the night. I’d settle in if I were you, it’ll be a bit.”

 

“Thank you!” Emma left the room and went to go find out where Killian would spend the night. The tip had paid off, Emma got a room number from the sweet nurse and then set off on a mission to occupy her time instead of waiting around to fret and worry. 

 

♥E&K♥

 

Killian woke to semi-unfamiliar surroundings.  He blinked his eyes as he looked around. He recognized some of his belongings, more specifically, his Christmas belongings had thrown up in this room, but he hadn’t a clue whose room he was actually in.  Raising his hand to run it over his face, he stopped midway noticing the bracelet on his arm.   _ What the hell? _ he thought as he examined the piece of plastic.  _ A hospital bracelet?  _

 

He looked around again and realized he was in the hospital. A noise turned his head, and he noticed someone standing in front of the window.  _  Emma!  _  Her back was turned to him, but she looked like an angel anyway. He admired her as she stood front of the window, surrounded by lights and holiday cheer. Abruptly everything came flooding back into his mind.  His plan to woo Emma, leaving his house, his brakes locking up on the ice when he was backing out of his driveway, and the accident. Hearing the noise again brought him to the present, and it dawned on him that she was crying. 

 

“Don’t worry, love, I’m a survivor.” The words were barely more than a raspy whisper as his throat was parched.  He watched Emma whip around, an expression so beautiful on her face, his heart raced.  

 

“Killian,” Emma sobbed, relief washing through her entire being. She raced to his bedside and threw her arms around him.

 

“Easy, Swan,” he grunted as she connected with him, jarring every bone in his body.  

 

“Oh shit! Sorry. I just… Killian, I’m sorry,” Emma started. She sat up so she could look at him.  Sitting down beside him on his bed, she resolved herself to tell him exactly what she’d told him while he was unconscious, even if she muddled her way through it. _ Nerves be damned, I can do this, _ she encouraged herself. “I’m sorry I didn’t stay when you asked, I just-”

 

“I know, Swan,” Killian interrupted.  He stared lovingly into her eyes, trying to convey with just a look how much he understood, how he felt the same way.

 

“You do?”

 

“Aye, I heard you before they carted me off.  I thought I’d dreamed it.”

 

Emma cupped his cheek in her hand, running her thumb affectionately back and forth. “No, Killian it wasn’t a dream. And I want you to hear it, to hear me, you deserve that much. Especially for putting up with my shit.”

 

Killian chuckled at her colorful language. “I love putting up with your shit, Emma Swan.”

 

“Shut up and let me finish, Jones.”

 

“The romance is palpable,” he mock whispered with an adorably wide smile taking over his whole face. 

 

She giggled despite the serious moment she was trying to have with him, and her tears that threatened to spill forth. Even with the bruises and the stitches he was beautiful, especially when _ that _ smile was just for her.

 

“I should have stayed last night. I  _ wanted _ to stay last night. I just panicked, like I always do. I need you, Killian. You are the best part of my life. I’ve been torn for years between what we have and wanting more. The thing that always stops me is that I can’t lose you. But I’m done, I’m done worrying about the what-ifs. I don’t want to regret that I never took that leap of faith fifty years down the line, and I know I will. I would rather take a chance on the greatest love I’ve ever felt, than play it safe for one minute more.”

 

Killian couldn’t help the tears that welled in his eyes. He’d waited so long for Emma to come around. To take a chance with him. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hear you say those words, Emma. I promise, you won’t ever regret taking a leap of faith for us.” He found himself more taken over with emotion than he thought possible, and his tears unashamedly trailed down his cheeks. Emma caught one with her thumb, wiping it away, before leaning in to kiss him.

 

Emma’s tears finally broke free as they kissed, and she could taste the saltiness of their mixed tears. She rested her forehead delicately to his when she needed to breathe. “Killian, I was so scared. When I thought of what could have happened. What if I’d never gotten the chance to tell you how I feel?” A quiet sob escaped her as she once again felt the fear that had gripped her when she saw his wrecked car this morning.  

 

“I told you, love, I’m a survivor.”

 

“I know, but if I’d stayed, none of this would have happened. Now you’re in the hospital for the holidays. I went to your place while you were sleeping to grab your snowman apocalypse and decorate your room.” 

 

“The first thing I noticed when I woke was Christmas had thrown up in this room. I love it, Swan.”

 

“I love you, Killian. Merry Christmas.”

 

“Merry Christmas, Emma.” The words were slightly choked up as he absorbed what she’d just said to him. “Can I say it back?”

 

“Say what?”

 

“May I tell you that I love you, have loved you for a very long time, without you fleeing the scene like my assailant this morning?”

 

“Yes, Killian, tell me,” she whispered. 

 

“Thank the gods, Swan, because I’m not sure which hit and run hurt more, you or the car,” Killian teased.

 

Emma chuckled lightly, but knew that he probably wasn’t joking.  “No more running, I promise, now tell me.”

 

“I love you, Emma.”

 

♥E&K♥

 

One week later

 

Everyone was stood around David’s obnoxiously large television, mesmerized as the ball began it’s infamous drop, signaling the end of an era and the coming of a new and fresh year. All but Emma and Killian, who stood gazing at each other as the countdown began. She had her arms resting on his shoulders, loosely clasped around his neck, while he’d wrapped his arms around her waist.

 

10

As Emma looked into his eyes she remembered the relief she’d felt when she first saw him in the hospital.  Unconscious, but alive. 

 

9

She thanked whatever gods might be listening that he’d only sustained minor injuries.  Some bruised ribs, a couple cuts on the forehead, a deep gash along his left wrist and forearm that had almost been deadly, and one roguish knick on his right cheek. He’d been beyond lucky there hadn’t been more extensive damage.

 

8

Emma tensed a little thinking about what could’ve been, but quickly felt the tension fade, knowing David and his partner had caught the idiot that had been driving home drunk that morning and plowed into the driver’s side of Killian’s car. She relaxed even further when he smiled at her and rubbed his hand up and down her back. 

 

7

Killian chuckled a little when Emma shivered as he caressed the length of her back. She was wearing a little black number, a backless halter dress with the epitome of a plunging neckline. He hadn’t wanted to leave the house when she’d shown up wearing it to pick him up for the party. His car was still in the shop so she’d offered to chauffer him around town in the interim.  

 

6

A rush of excitement zipped through Killian when he thought about how they’d soon be driving most places together, as Emma had agreed to move in with him. Along with the gifts they’d already had for each other, Killian had slipped a little box under the tree sometime between when they arrived home from the hospital Christmas morning, and when they opened gifts that afternoon.  In the box was a house key and a note asking her to move in with him.  Although some might’ve thought it was quick, they’d been in love so long that it really was just the natural next step. Her lease was up at the end of the year, he owned his home; it was a no brainer.  Most of her things had made their way over to his place during the past week, and tomorrow they would grab the rest.

 

5

A different type of rush zipped through Killian when Emma ran a finger around the shell of his ear before caressing it’s lobe. She leaned toward his other ear and whispered into it, “I can’t wait for you to take me home.” 

 

4

“Fuck,” he muttered. “Swan, I hardly think my erection is something this crowd wants to ring in the new year with. Don’t be a bloody tease, love, you know I’ve been waiting for this for literal years.” With his ribs banged up, the doctor had said no physical activities for two weeks. They’d decided a week was long enough.

 

3

“I’ve been waiting for this too,” she said quietly, still talking into his ear. “Waiting, and wanting, and thinking about this,” she purred, barely thrusting her hips against his. “Sometimes I’d lay in bed thinking about you for so long, that I’d slip my fing-”

 

2

Emma was cut off abruptly by Killian’s hand over her mouth. “I’d have kissed you silent, but I’m waiting for the-”

 

1

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” everyone chimed together. All but Killian and Emma who were already kissing hungrily. Emma’s arms were locked around Killian’s neck and both her hands were carding through his hair. Killian had one hand gripping her hip, and the other massaging her bare lower back. 

 

“Get a room!” Mary Margaret shouted. 

 

“Can we use yours?” Killian asked, cocking an eyebrow.

 

“I already have plans for that bedroom tonight,” David announced, swiftly swatting his wife on the ass.

 

“David!” Mary Margaret giggled.

 

“Well then, if we can’t use yours, best we better get home to ours.” Emma emphasized her point by breaking from the embrace of Killian’s arms to hug the host and hostess goodnight while wishing them a happy new year.

 

“Thanks for an entertaining evening, mate,” Killian told David, shaking his hand. The next thing he knew, he was sucked into a patented Mary Margaret hug. “Take good care of her, okay?” she whispered into his ear.

 

“I plan to,” Killian answered his potential future sister-in-law. 

 

Emma linked her arm through Killian’s and started to pull him toward the front door. “Alright, alright, enough with the warnings,” she laughed. “We all have other more enjoyable activities to see to.”

 

“Too true, darling.”

 

They both said their goodbyes to the other party guests as they made their way to leave. Catcalls were tossed their way as everyone knew why the couple was darting out, only minutes after ringing in the new year. 

 

“Get me home, Jones,” Emma demanded once they were in the car.  She placed her hand on his thigh and began kneading higher. 

 

“You’re going to get the both of us in an accident if you keep up the shenanigans.”

 

Emma laughed at his warning, “Just drive.”

 

♥E&K♥

 

The moment the door was catapulted open, Emma launched herself into Killian’s arms. His breath was knocked from him with the force of her attack, and even with the discomfort it caused his ribs, he couldn’t imagine a better feeling than Emma’s body pressed to his.  

 

“I’m sorry! Did I hurt you?” Emma immediately released the vise-like grip her thighs had around his waist, signaling him to put her down.  

 

“No love, my rib cage is still just a little tender. Nothing I can’t handle if it means I get to hold you in my arms.”

 

Emma’s megawatt smile warmed his heart. “Take me to bed, Killian.”

 

“As you wish.” 

 

He took her hand in his and led her to the bedroom. Shutting the door behind them, he pressed her against it and took her lips in a steamy kiss.  His hands drifted from her waist, over her hips, and further down her thighs until he could feel skin.  “So soft,” he murmured.  Killian trailed his hands back up her thighs, this time under her dress, appreciating the feel of her warm skin. When he reached her ass, he gave both cheeks a firm squeeze, eliciting a soft moan from Emma.  The sound sent a jolt of pleasure straight to his cock, and he squeezed her again. “Such a fine ass, Swan.”

 

Feeling the spark of arousal from her nipples all the way down to her clit, all she could manage was a breathy request for more.  She pulled Killian’s tongue into her mouth and sucked on it as if it were his dick. Rubbing her hands over his chest, Emma set to work on the buttons of his shirt. Finding herself impatient, she began to just pulled at his shirt.

 

“Someone’s in a rush,” he teased.

 

“Oh please, you know you want it just as bad.”

 

“Aye,” he answered, “only I have much easier access than you.” To prove his point Killian moved his hand from where it still palmed her ass around to the front of her panties and gently fingered the slickness he found waiting.  “Christ, Emma, you’re killing me.”

 

“I’ve been wet for you all night, Jones, my panties are ruined, and if you don’t put something inside me, I’m going to scream.”

 

“As long as it’s my name you’re screaming, I’m okay with it.”

 

Emma rolled her eyes, then placed her hand over his and guided his fingers to her entrance. She pressed his middle finger with hers and slowly both their fingers slid inside. “Oh fuck, finally,” she muttered. 

 

Killian stared at Emma, eyes closed in pleasure, bottom lip bitten into with her teeth. He was frankly quite shocked that both of their fingers were inside her, it was hot as fuck, and-

 

“Move,” she commanded while thrusting down on their fingers, and pushing up into herself.

 

Killian snapped out of his stupor and set to the task of getting Emma off, and quickly if he could because just this very act was threatening to have him coming in his pants.  He let her grind on their hands and set the pace, while he unfastened the strap of her dress, baring her breasts. “Fuck me,” he growled.

 

“That’s the idea.”

 

“Snowmen… they’re snowmen.”

 

“What?” Emma looked down to see what Killian was staring at. “Oh yeah, they’re pasties, you know, so I didn’t have a nip slip in public.” She spoke as if this were run of the mill conversation, still working herself up higher. “I know your affinity for snowmen, so I couldn’t resist.” She removed her hand from his, then brought her fingers to his mouth.

 

Killian immediately added a second finger to compensate for Emma’s loss. When she presented her finger to him, he quickly sucked it into his mouth. _ Divine _ . He knew she would be though.

 

“If you’re still hungry, the pasties are edible,” she giggled.  Her giggle was interrupted by her own deep moan as Killian immediately latched onto one of her nipples and sucked deeply while still fingering her. The way her swollen walls sucked at his fingers made him long to be buried in her.  He quickened his pace and applied his thumb to her clit delicately. Emma’s whimpers and the tense set of her body told him she was close.  Every muscle in her body was working together as she rode his hand.

 

Feeling the pressure of her orgasm building low in her belly, Emma grabbed onto Killian’s shoulder. She needed support as her body rushed toward completion.  When he bit down on her nipple, she cried out as the sensation shot straight down to her clit and propelled her straight into orgasm.  She placed her hand over his again, halting his movements. She gently rocked against the solid pressure of his hand, riding out the pleasure. “Oh my god that was... I needed that.”

 

Killian was mesmerized by how beautiful total and complete arousal became Emma. Her skin was pink, and although she had a light sheen of sweat on different areas of her body, a small layer of chills covered her skin.  Her eyes were bright, and her hair was wild. “Bloody hell, I love you,” he cursed before attacking her lips again.  

 

Emma pushed herself off the door, guiding them both toward the bed.  Reaching the foot of the bed, Emma grabbed at Killian’s belt and began undressing him.  She made quick work of his clothes, having him bared for her perusal in under a minute.  “Killian.”

 

“Yes, my love?”

 

“I love this,” she said, running both hands generously over the chest hair that covered his skin and muscle.  “And this,” she added, grazing her nail down the trail leading to the promised land.  “But this?” she purred, wrapping her hand around his dick, “this is goddamn gorgeous.” She pumped him firmly, relishing the guttural moan that sounded from deep within his chest.  Emma felt fresh arousal as she admired his length, he was hot and thick in her hand, and hard as a rock. “I don’t know if I want to jerk you off, taste you, or fuck you, Jones. I want it all.”

 

“And you shall have it all, I promise. But tonight, let me love you, Emma.” He held his breath after he spoke the words. He knew she’d promised no more running, but he still worried some words would scare her. He wasn’t holding back though, he wanted to make love to her, and he wasn’t going to hide it, he was going to trust her.  

 

Emma’s eyes widened. She was so turned on and worked up she hadn’t considered he’d want to take it down a romantic path. A flutter went through her heart as it swelled for this man. “Okay,” she whispered. “Make love to me, Killian.” The smile on his face in response was enough to melt her completely. “I love you.”

 

“And I you,” Killian returned as he gently pulled her dress and panties over her hips and let them fall to the floor.  “Stunning,” he murmured, staring at her naked form. He got onto the bed, resting on his knees and grabbed her hand to pull her up. Bringing her into his embrace, he gently kissed her lips; wrapping one arm around her waist, and cupping one of her breasts in his free hand, he easily laid them both down on the bed. 

 

Killian placed a trail of kisses along the column of her throat and sucked at the sensitive skin, careful not to leave any marks.  Continuing further down he reached her breasts and laved careful attention upon them, he made sure to feast his fill until the snowmen pasties were gone.  

 

Emma sighed in pleasure as Killian paid homage to her breasts. She’d always had very sensitive breasts and was damn near coming again. She could feel the rhythmic thrust of his dick against her thigh, and she wanted nothing more than to feel it inside her. “Killian, I really need you inside me. I want to feel you.”

 

Who was he to deny her anything? Situating himself in the cradle of her thighs, Killian placed her legs around his hips.  His cock twitched when he saw the glistening arousal that coated Emma’s folds.  _ Fuck me _ . Lining up at her entrance, he pushed into her slowly. It was like heaven, or at least what he hoped heaven would be like, as the sensation of Emma’s warmth surrounded him. When fully seated inside her, Killian waited for her to adjust.  

 

Emma inhaled sharply at the sting. It’d been awhile, outside of her vibrator, which was most assuredly not as endowed as Killian Jones.  She reached up to caress his cheek, then urged him toward her. She kissed him soundly before whispering, “I’m ready.” 

 

He looked into her eyes and could see that she didn’t only mean for this, but for anything and everything. Emma Swan was ready. He kissed her this time while slowly pulling out of her and then driving back home.  Killian kept a languid pace, enjoying the tight, wet caress along every inch of his dick as he pumped in and out of her. He felt her hands snaking around his waist before she cupped his arse and urged him to go harder. 

 

“So good, Killian.”

 

“Gods, Emma, you feel so good wrapped around me.”

 

He started thrusting harder with Emma’s prodding. His cock was buzzing, the hair on his arms and the back of his neck were standing on end, and his nipples tightened along with his balls.  He was close, but he really wanted to bring her off with him.  He lightly toyed with her clit, “I want you to come again, Emma.”

 

She nodded her head vigorously, she couldn’t imagine a better idea than coming again.  Her gaze was focused on his, the blue barely visible in his state of arousal.  “Make me come, Killian.”

 

Killian’s hips snapped to hers in a particularly arduous thrust, and he kept that pace when she cried out, spurring him on. He watched as her body began to flush again, and her breasts bounced each time he bottomed out. He could feel the moment Emma fell over that edge, her walls tensed and began to suck his cock.  The glide of her walls against his shaft  was immeasurably pleasurable. The tightening on the head of his cock as he tried to bury himself deeper within her had him calling out her name as he began to come. He could feel the intensity with which he came as he spilled hot burst after burst into her. He thrusted home several more times until he felt his arms start to go weak with post orgasm haziness.  

 

Killian rolled them both over so that he wasn’t crushing her, and they were still connected.  He didn’t want to give up the sensation of Emma wrapped around him in the most intimate of ways quite yet.  

 

“That was…”

 

“Our new nightly ritual,” Emma finished for him.  

 

Killian laughed out loud. “As you wish.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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